Do Not Build Your Entire Life Around Someone Else’s Maybe
September 7, 2026
Steady Adulting
By Sofía Fehér
Life changes.
You can get a raise or a promotion. You can also lose your job.
You can train for months and win the race. You can also hurt your knee the week before it.
You can meet the love of your life and begin imagining everything you might build together. Then something completely outside either person’s control can change the plan.
That does not mean you should live pessimistically or assume everything good will disappear.
It means you should build enough stability into your own life that someone else’s plans, promises, opportunities, or uncertainties do not become the foundation holding everything else up.
A Maybe Is Not a Plan
There is nothing wrong with considering another person when making decisions.
Relationships require compromise. Families make plans together. Careers involve calculated risks. Sometimes we temporarily sacrifice one opportunity because another one appears more promising.
The problem begins when your entire future depends on something that has not actually happened yet.
Maybe someone will get transferred.
Maybe someone will marry you.
Maybe your company will promote you.
Maybe your parents will eventually help you.
Maybe the business will take off.
Maybe you will move next year.
Maybe someone will repay what you sacrificed for them.
Any one of those things might happen.
But until it does, it is still a maybe.
You can prepare for possibilities without putting your entire life on hold for them.
Build Something That Belongs to You
Your stability does not have to look impressive.
You do not need to graduate from college and immediately land a $100,000 job with a corner office, personal assistant, beautiful view, and nameplate on the door.
You may eventually earn all of those things.
In the meantime, consistency matters more than appearances.
Learn how to budget the paycheck you have.
Put away some money when you can.
Keep learning skills that make you more useful and employable.
Understand your benefits.
Know where your important documents are.
Build work experience.
Maintain relationships with people who treat you well.
Take care of your health.
Learn how to cook several decent meals.
Know how to make appointments, pay bills, compare prices, ask questions, and solve everyday problems.
None of these things are glamorous.
Together, they create independence.
Make the Life You Have Livable
Building stability does not mean spending every day miserably preparing for some wonderful future that may arrive five years from now.
Make the present tolerable too.
If your workplace allows it, personalize your workspace enough that it feels like a place where you can function.
That might mean putting a photograph of someone you love near your computer.
It might mean displaying a picture from a memorable vacation.
It might mean keeping a small plant nearby — even a fake one if you cannot keep the real thing alive.
If headphones are permitted, music or other audio may make repetitive work more pleasant.
Use tools when they help. If you are exhausted and suddenly cannot decide whether a sentence requires a period, semicolon, or colon, let Grammarly or another editing tool help you catch what your tired brain is missing.
And move.
You do not necessarily need a formal workplace exercise routine. Sometimes “I need more coffee,” “I need to make copies,” or “I need to drop this off” is also an opportunity to get out of your chair, stretch your legs, and reset your attention for a few minutes.
Small adjustments matter when you spend hundreds or thousands of hours each year at work.
Keep Moving Even When You Are Waiting
Sometimes waiting is unavoidable.
You may be waiting for an application decision, a promotion, an apartment, a relationship milestone, a medical answer, a graduation, a move, or someone else’s decision.
Waiting does not require standing still.
While you wait, keep building your own life.
Save money.
Learn something.
Take the course.
Apply for opportunities.
Improve your résumé.
Meet people.
Travel when you reasonably can.
Create routines.
Take care of your belongings.
Build your credit.
Develop hobbies.
Strengthen relationships worth keeping.
Make plans that do not depend entirely on one person saying yes.
If the hoped-for opportunity eventually arrives, you will be in a stronger position to enjoy it.
If it does not, you will not be starting your life from zero.
Promises Can Be Sincere and Still Not Come True
This is important.
Someone does not necessarily have to lie to you for their promise to fail.
People change.
Companies reorganize.
Relationships end.
Health changes.
Money disappears.
Wars begin.
Families encounter emergencies.
Opportunities fall through.
A person can completely mean what they tell you today and still be unable to deliver it five years from now.
That is why protecting your own future is not an accusation against anyone else.
It is simply responsible.
You can love someone deeply without handing them ownership of your future.
You can believe in a company without assuming it will employ you forever.
You can support your family without abandoning every goal of your own.
You can hope for something without treating hope as a contract.
Your Life Is Happening Now
Another milestone will always seem capable of finally starting your “real” life.
After graduation.
After the promotion.
After the move.
After the wedding.
After the house.
After you have more money.
After someone else decides what they are doing.
Planning for the future is responsible.
Repeatedly postponing your life until someone else’s uncertain future becomes certain is different.
You do not owe anyone your entire life and future in exchange for something that merely might happen.
Build stability for yourself.
Create a life that works reasonably well now.
Keep preparing for something better.
And when a good opportunity finally becomes real, you can step into it from solid ground instead of discovering that you spent years standing on someone else’s maybe.